Hats off to all you digital users……I had been attempting to write a blog for almost 6 months & could not, while most of you tweet, write & express your thoughts ‘in few words’ on hourly or daily basis.
I saw ‘Haider’ last night & I realised that everyone should try to see other person’s view point as well, because there are no absolutes in life. I hope to keep that balance as I begin this new journey of communication with all of you – friends & family….
Bariatric surgery had been an enlightning journey for me for so many reasons. Prolonged interactions, understanding changing inter-personal relationships in family & guiding them with a firm but caring hand while maintaing dispassionate stance, had been a challenge.
Just yesterday, a patient (herself a doctor) operated 3 years back came for a follow up with her doctor husband. She has lost over 40 kgs & is maintainingherslf at 56 kgs. She looked gorgeous & fit. The major problem was that her husband has still not reconciled to the fact that she should be so slim, because her weight at marriage was 68 kgs. For the smallest health or other issue in their family, he would criticise her decision to undergobariatric surgery. Instead of being a happy person with control on her life, she is fighting a different battle everyday.
We have seen this happening with many of our patients. Friends or family, who were supportive of your effort to lose weight through surgery, are not so accepting anymore.
Please believe me – it is neither jealously nor their unhappiness to see you healthy. Try to understand their concern & reasons for change in their approach. Most of them, in their life, have never seen you so slim or bony.
- also most of our patients are psychologically & physically dependent on their
near ones but post surgery mobility & fitness gives them new found confidence. This new found lack of dependence may not be accepted by the person resulting in unhappy companions.
Who is responsible for this? You, your companion or the surgery……no one actually, all that we need is time, understanding & communication between us, you & your companion & life will be fun once again.
Please, please do not snap & do not let it snap… remember, these were the people who stood with you, when no one else.
I am sure some of you had similar experiences. Feel free to write to us to enlighten us so we can help more of you…
Dr Ramen Goel